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Saturday, July 31, 2010
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Friday, July 30, 2010
German Wedding Customs
Friday, July 16, 2010
First of all, a German wedding celebration typically lasts for days, not just an afternoon. As is common in many European countries, a civil ceremony is a requirement for a legal marriage. This ceremony at the courthouse normally takes place within a few days of the bigger church wedding. The civil service is small, with only a couple of witnesses and the bride in a simple dress of skirt and blouse.
The night before the church wedding, there is an event called Polterabend. This German custom involves smashing plates and china (but not glass) as a sign of good luck for the married couple. The idea is that these plates will be broken, but never the marriage. At the end of the fun, the bride and groom have to clean up all of the shards and pieces. The Polterabend usually turns into a fun, informal party with the couples' friends, family, and neighbors.
Some parts of the church wedding will look familiar to Americans, but certain things are done differently in Germany. One big difference is that the couple proceeds up the aisle together without any bridesmaids, flower girls, or groomsmen. Remember that at this point, the bride and groom are already legally married. The religious ceremony is usually on the long side - up to an hour and a half - and includes a full Mass (for Catholics), a sermon, and singing.
The bride and groom's attire is not all that different from what Americans are accustomed to seeing at a wedding. The bride wears a white bridal gown, although trains are often short or omitted altogether. If the bride decides to wear a veil, she will keep it on at least through the first dance at the reception. One thing that might surprise a lot of people, is that German women do not normally have engagement rings. Instead the couple chooses matching wedding bands as bridal jewelry, which are worn on the right hand instead of the left. Of course, the bride will still wear bridal jewelry, such as earrings and a necklace, to compliment her wedding gown.
As the German newlyweds leave the church, they will be showered in rice. Throwing of rice is an ancient symbol of fertility, and the German custom is that every grain of rice that sticks in the bride's hair represents a future child. The couple makes their exit from the church in a flower bedecked car, followed by a procession of the guests, who tie white ribbons to their car antennas. There is lots of happy honking of horns, and the passing traffic will honk back for good luck.
The wedding reception is an all night affair in Germany (again, this is true in most of Europe). The party begins with cake, tortes, and coffee while the couple has their wedding portraits snapped. This is followed by dancing, the formal dinner, and more dancing until dawn. By all accounts, German wedding receptions sound like really fun parties, with games, toasting, and plenty of beer flowing. The couple's first dance, by the way, is traditionally a waltz. One interesting German tradition involves the couple attempting to saw a log together. How well they manage the task is supposed to demonstrate teamwork, and how well they will work together at chores in their marriage.
The fun does is not quite over when the party winds down. When the newlyweds leave the reception, they will get to see what sort of mischief their friends have created in the bridal suite. A favorite trick is to take apart the bed. Sometimes revelers will also fill the room with balloons, or do other funny things. (Of course it is not only Germans who like to mess up the bride and groom's hotel room. I recall sneaking up to short-sheet the bed and writing "Kilroy was here" on the sheets of my aunt and uncle's room. For the record, I was more of a witness than a participant - I was only twelve years old.)
A German wedding ends with a honeymoon just as an American wedding does. Beaches are popular destinations, and a great place to relax and unwind from the wedding whirlwind. After all, once you have cleaned up the smashed plates, sawed the log, and danced until dawn, who wouldn't need a little rest and relaxation?
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010
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Tuesday, July 13, 2010
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Celebrating the Divine Feminine
Friday, July 9, 2010
Now you might be thinking, This all sounds like the old maxim, "Biology is destiny," and who wants to be defined by that anymore? Well, yes, it does sound that way - unless you also consider these three stages as spiritual shifts in our lives.
What might the spiritual nature of each phase of the Goddess have been like?
We can imagine something of this from looking at Minoan civilization, dating from about 3,000 to 1400 B.C. The Minoans lived on the island of Crete in the Mediterranean Sea. Abundant archaeological evidence exists for this society's reverence of a Goddess. Murals found at Knossos, a town in Crete, show plant life in exuberant growth around the central image of a female deity. Animals and humans are depicted as part of this abundance. These paintings reveal reverence for the generative powers of Earth.
What do you think a society with reverence of the Divine Feminine might have looked like?
Let's imagine what a Minoan woman might say about the Maiden phase of the Divine Feminine. Let's call her Minah.
"Our young girls hold the potential for our society's future. They come from the spirit world to grace our society with their potential, talent, and skills, which blossom with our teachings.
"Our girls are like earth's spring season, the handiwork of the Goddess. She graciously gives us our maidens for the good of our society, just as She gives us seeds to germinate and flower.
"We have a celebration of our maidens at the full moon just before spring. Everyone comes to our pole festival. The girls do a circle dance around the pole and interweave ribbon streamers hanging from the pole.
"All come to dance, feast and watch the bull game. For this occasion our best girl athletes perform feats on a bull's back. Our bulls are trained to work with our athletes. The bull is a sign of the masculine principle. The cooperation of girl athlete and bull shows union of the creative powers of female and male. For we see that all life is created through the union of male and female every spring season.
"Our daughters carry the potential of the mysterious power of creation. We see the female as the active creative principle which we call Goddess. Our maidens are therefore She whom we adore. Our girls carry the lineage of our society, from mother to daughter.
"Our girls are well-educated. We expect them to contribute their gifts and learning to our culture. They learn the lore of the natural world, rhetoric, music, dance, writing, athletics.
"They learn to delight in the body, and from a very early age they eagerly await their coming sexuality. But we don't regard menarche as the first time a girl becomes important in her own right as a woman. We celebrate our daughters' seed nature, long before their menarche, just as we thank and celebrate the Earth Mother for the seed power she gives us to reproduce life.
Girl Guiding
When my eldest daughter turned eight, I was approached by the local leader and invited to check out Guiding. My eldest just loved it and the following year, my second daughter also joined.
Before long I agreed to help out, then I became a leader myself. I think the old maxim is true, "Once a Girl Guide, Always a Girl Guide".
In the year 2000, Australian Guiding went through a revolution, deciding to make the break from the traditional English program and create one of it's own. Like most things, this came with a mixture of good, bad and flaws that showed up later. Good was a program designed more for our conditions, lots of outdoors stuff and more contemporary badges. Bad was the dropping of 'girl' out of the name to be just "Guides" - Yes, it has been returned. Flaws that are showing up are things like the lack of progression, which I hope will be tackled in their latest review.
Despite all this however, my girls have gained a great deal from this wonderful organization. Both have continued on to becoming Queen's Guides. Over the years, the Guiding movement has developed a great deal of their character, teaching them many skills both practical and the more intangible such as leadership, goal-setting and teamwork. They both have developed friendships which have gone much deeper than most of those formed elsewhere and I have no doubt these special Guiding Friendships will last them throughout life.
My girls haven't been the only ones to benefit from Guiding. I have had the opportunity as a Leader to participate in many activities that I wouldn't have dreamed of doing before, rock-climbing, abseiling, high ropes, and bush-walking - opening a whole new world for me. Not to mention the fact that I have been honoured to be a very special part of a number of girls lives - girls who one day may 'vaguely remember doing something at Guides'!
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